Eventually, after about thirty minutes, I received a message from Takumi.
"It's still going to take a while. Go home first."
We walked out of the school gate side by side, shoulder to shoulder, under a small, pale blue folding umbrella.
"I'm really sorry! I didn't know there was aluminum foil in it....."
Walnut giggled at my words. The scent of shampoo wafted next to me every time she laughed.
It was about a week ago that the Japan Meteorological Agency announced that the rainy season had begun. Today, the forecast was that it "might" rain in the afternoon. So I shoved the black folding umbrella I had left in the corner of my room into my backpack. The umbrella was still on its cover, but it had retained its weight and shape just like an umbrella.
But just five minutes earlier, what I had taken out of my backpack was a piece of aluminum foil wrapped around the core of a folding umbrella.
"I think my sister did it."
I sighed, and Walnut looked surprised.
I usually try not to talk too much about my sister, but rather about my family. The house I live in is a bit complicated, and I don't want to make people around me feel uncomfortable by talking about it.
When I was in elementary and junior high school, there was a kind of network among parents, and everyone knew about my special circumstances. In high school, however, not many people knew about it. I was very comfortable with that, and that's why I had not told my friends.
"I didn't know you had a sister."
I don't think of myself as unhappy, in fact, I think I am very blessed. The reason I didn't tell her was simple: I didn't want her to be bothered, but I also felt that it would have been unjust not to tell her after getting to know her so well.
So I decided to try to be upbeat and tell her about the situation. The fact that Walnut had told me about her grandmother had also given me a boost.
"My parents aren't really my parents."
It took more courage than I had thought to say those words. I realized that now that I had said the words.
"Before I started elementary school, my mother, who was a single mother, suddenly disappeared."
But once I began to speak, the past slipped out of my mouth.
"I still don't know why my mother disappeared, and I don't know if she is alive or dead. The person who took me in was my mother's brother, my uncle. After that, my uncle got married and officially adopted me as his son."
"After a while, my little sister was born. My aunt and uncle are kind, my sister Suzu is cute, and although she is special, she is not unhappy or anything at all. And yes, my aunt makes the best sweet-and-sour pork."
I spoke fluently and rambled on and on.
It's not a lie. I'm not lying.
Even so, I was afraid of seeing Walnut's reaction, so I talked incessantly on my own.
Thinking back, this was the first time that I had ever spoken about my home like this.
"My uncle has always been kind to me, and my aunt has always accepted me, even though I was just supposed to be a bump in her eye. Even Suzu, who doesn't really share much age difference with me, calls me 'Onii' (one of her favorite words)."
Yes, that's right. I am truly blessed. I am very, very happy. I may have an unusual family environment, but that does not mean that I am unhappy.
"So...."
──Even so, I always felt as if I didn't exist anywhere.
"......Leaf?"
My feet stopped at the sudden realization that had surfaced in my mind. A small stumble in the heart can easily upset the balance that has been maintained.
I'm not unhappy, I'm not unhappy.
But aren't you saying that to hide your true feelings of unhappiness?
"Am I unhappy......?"
I asked myself, and the water droplets falling on my feet became a part of the black that dyed the asphalt.
The smell of damp rain and heat fills my lungs. On my sneakers, a large drop of water plops down and slowly becomes a large stain. It must have fallen from the dewy tip of my umbrella.
──I don't know. I don't know much about myself.
Suddenly, a soft warmth overlapped with my right hand, which was holding the handle of the umbrella. It was her left hand, which I thought was small.
"Leaf, look."
Slowly, I look up and see Walnut standing next to me, looking out to sea. Before I knew it, there seemed to be a thin light shining across the ocean.
The large drops of rain have turned into a fine drizzle. The gray clouds are moving, and a circle of light is gradually spreading. Beyond the light, the beautiful sea was shining and calming down.
Blue, white, yellow, gold, emerald green, and ultramarine... This must be the "Lazurite Blue.
The contrast is breathtakingly beautiful and divine enough to make you feel extraordinary. Out of nowhere, I felt like crying.
I don't know why I want to cry or why I feel like that, but there is definitely something that rises in me and my throat goes up and down.
"It's okay, you don't have to hold back," she said.
She opened her mouth as she stared at the sea.
"I'm sure you can blame it all on this blue color. It is so beautiful."
Her gently narrowed eyes gently reflect me with a pitiful look on my face. The expression on my face, with a distorted mouth, is like that of a small child. As the wind blows through her hair, light shines through its light brown color.
I thought it was beautiful from the bottom of my heart. This scenery that the sea, the sky, the light, and the drizzle interweave. I thought of Walnut, standing straight up there.
"Are you crying?"
She smiles gently and deliberately asks me that.
I'm not crying. Just a little, just a little. I just felt tears welling up in my eyes.
After deeply inhaling this space, the curtain of tears in her eyes shook and the scenery sparkled.
"It is so beautiful."
I slowly traced her words, and she narrowed her eyes happily.
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